Oh hidy ho officer, we’ve had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil (via asitbegan)

11 notes

spacethievery:

This is awesomesauce! Dwight Schrute’s resume - from Misty Manley.

spacethievery:

This is awesomesauce! Dwight Schrute’s resume - from Misty Manley.

14 notes

castlestuff:

Season 3, Episode 12 - Poof, You’re Dead

178 notes

So I go to his concert with my friend Jason. We get there, the show is sold out. People are psyched for R. Kelly. Jason looks over to me and goes, “Hey Aziz, me and you are the only two white people at this concert.” And I was like, “First of all Jason, I’m not white! Second of all, you’re the only white guy at this concert. WE MIGHT KILL YOU, JASON.”
Aziz Ansari, Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening. (via nom-chompsky)

120 notes

5000candlesinthewind:

I grab the sheets and I get them home. And I’m psyched to put them on my bed, right? I feel them and - they feel a little rough to the touch. I get a little suspicious. I do a little Google-ing. I find an investigative report in Southern Living Magazine where they investigated thread count claims … And they had a little chart, and it said:

1,377 notes